The Oratory RAW Review Crew: 03/29/04
by: The Raw Review Crew on: 3/30/2004 11:16 pm est  Who down for a quick quick wordy run-down? "It's me! A-it's me!" you might shout, eagerly anticipating this week's needlessly lengthy, yet strangely appealing introduction for the regular posting of the Oratory RAW Review Crew. Well, even if you didn't, I just put those words right into your mouth, so you're gonna have to live with it. This is the kind of power one wields when they've hosted the RRC for as long as I have. Hell, if I were caught in the wrong mood, I could even edit the text sent to me by my regular contributors, Lauren C., Samir, Adam Karabel, Corey Morgan and Brett Berliner, and replace it with lengthy dissertations on their own first name and why they are (and I'd quote) "the biggest idiot ever." eg; "Hello, my name is Corey and I'm the biggest idiot ever!" or "Hi, my name is Adam and I'm the biggest idiot ever!" Ohhh, the power. Why is it, now that I think of it, that people impersonating / mocking one another always start their impersonation / mockery with a sentence stating their name and a colorful statement about themselves? I'm sure you run into a lot of people on the street, spouting their own names and telling you about how big an idiot they really are. Well, fortunately enough, what you're about to see has a little more substance than that. What we do here, week in and week out, is watch Monday's broadcast of RAW, sleep on it, decide what we thought, word our opinions eloquently so that we look more credible, submit them to this weekly review column and sit back and reflect upon a job well done. Oh yeah, and on top of all that we rack our brains for a rating to bestow upon this week's show. On the scale of one to ten, this grade represents our final opinion of the show, and is our contribution to the collaborative "final final grade" at the bottom of the post. Yeah, we've good this whole thing down to a science by now. If we saw the show and the little voice in our head started shouting "LIKEY, LIKEY!" it gets a ten. A ten is a pretty friggin' big "LIKEY, LIKEY" thought. It's like taking a trip to the bank to withdraw four dollars and sixty cents from your account, but completing your transaction as the branch's one millionth customer and receiving a wad of cash as a result. A wonderful, unexpected surprise. On the other hand, a show that's granted a one is the bottom of the barrel. That little voice? It's quit shouting altogether by the point you've finished watching a show that's worthy of a one, and has been scraping its nails along your mental chalkboard for a couple hours. It's really bad. It's wandering into a bank with no real purpose in mind, only to be taken down by the security team, beaten unmercifully and thrown into the "please rape me, I'm a newbie" cell at county... all the case of mistaken identity. So, in summary, if the show gets a ten it was yet another chance for free money and lifelong financial freedom, but if it's awarded a one, it was like trigger happy cops, a series of nightsticks and violation from behind. Not the best day of your life. Yet again, that's your buddy and mine, Brett Berliner walking in through my door in first place; Brett: "As much as I hate starting shows with interviews, it worked out ok tonight.� Mick Foley running back and forth on the mic with Ric Flair?� I am down for that.� It's too bad Orton didn't have his voice but overall, this worked out nicely.� Mick's line about Orton beating him and The Rock (an actor and a guy who writes books for kids) 3 on 2 was pretty funny.� We get, for Backlash, Orton vs. Foley, street fight, Evolution banned from ringside.� I like the match, but does the Intercontinental title need to be on the line?� I mean, seriously.� I liked when they brought the title back, I even supported the Booker T vs. Christian stuff, and honestly, I was really in to Orton as the IC champ.� I saw it as the perfect belt for him, to help him cement himself as a possible uppercard star before moving into the main event, but he's barely defended it and it's little more than a nice accessory for him.� Hopefully, before Backlash he'll drop the belt to a younger guy like Shelton Benjamin or Rob Conway, and we'll get a different feud at Backlash involving the IC title. HA~~~!� HA~!� HA!� That was great.� What was great?� Tajiri and the Coach.� I mean, yeah, everyone in that segment (especially Coach) overreacted, like Tajiri misting him was the end of the world, but damn did I get a kick out of it so much.� Not everything in wrestling can be overly serious.� Even the humor can't always be highbrow.� I got a kick out of it, and maybe it'll get Tajiri over.� He's funny. Nidia vs. Molly Holly Well... for everyone who wanted to see if Nidia could go in the ring against decent competition, we've found out.� She's ok.� Give her a chance, and she might surprise in a few years, no?� Already better than Lita, that has to say something.� I'm not feeling the Molly Holly angle, though, as getting her wigs ripped off makes cheap pops, sure, but it also is getting boring already.� Let her grow her hair out a bit.. in a month or two, she'll look good again. Man, I hate the WWE sometimes.� I was so, so, so so so so so so excited for The Hurricane to finally be getting some time on RAW, but he's out there, what, two seconds before he gets punked out?� Lame.� What's with Hunter not liking the Hurricane, and kicking his ass repeatedly?� Ugh.� Helms should have stayed on Smackdown.� Still.. the promo was good.� Hunter was on, seeming a bit like the Hunter of old, with the good intensity and the occasional funny line ('I'd say I feel like a million bucks.. but hey, that'd be a bit of a paycut'?� Nice.)� Regardless of how good the promo between Bischoff and him was, I can't believe they made the main event for Backlash a triple threat.� Please, please, please, please, please let it be a tease.� I am not feeling this.� HBK/Benoit, one on one in the main event of a PPV?� That is something to look forward to.� A rehashed triple threat?� Is not. Also something I'm not happy about?� Shelton Benjamin getting punked.� What is that all about?� Evolution = dumb.� I mean, they're pissed that people were laughing at HHH last week, but he wasn't even in the RAW locker room, I'm fairly sure (any backup?)� I just really don't want to see this guy buried.. he's got so much potential, dammit.� He's young, athletic, moves well in the ring, and, unlike a lot of guys his size, doesn't work too lightly (or too stiffly, thanks).� He has a chance, and now, maybe he doesn't.� I'm not saying it's over, but what the fuck did that accomplish? Lance Storm vs. Rhyno !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is my response to that bullshit.� That is all. All I know is that Tajiri calling the Coach a 'riar' is too much fun for even me.� This dude is really really really funny.� Remember last year, before the Rumble, the 'promo' he cut?� Yeah, I do too.� Represent.� He's getting squashed by Kane on his first night in, though?� What sense does that make....? Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair and Batista If you're going to do a Dusty finish, do it right, I always say.� Or, well, I've never actually said that, but come on, I would say it, given the chance.� This is why some Dusty finishes work.. man, I was jumping up out of my seat... Benoit with two belts?� Come on with that.� If you're going to do a Dusty finish, make sure it's on something we're rabid for (IE, Benoit with more gold), and make sure it makes sense.� Flair wasn't the legal man, it's true.� I went back and watched again.� As such... it just got more heat for John Hennigan/Blaze/Spade/Nitro.� Man, this kid is such a good heel already.� Assuming he can wrestle (and no, doing standing shooting star presses doesn't mean you can wrestle), he's going to be big one day, I think.� I have a good feeling about this one. The match itself was decent.� I've been liking how RAW has one decent tag match usually placed somewhere in its confines, mostly involving Ric Flair and Batista.� It wasn't great, but it was certainly enjoyable, and Batista has actually been wrestling quite nicely for some time.� I'll take it. Shelton's facing Triple H tonight?� Oh, geez.� There goes that push. After reading some of the response to the Highlight Reel, I guess I'm the only fan that wasn't really feeling it.� It wasn't bad, not at all, but it also wasn't the breakout face performance Jericho's character needed.� Although the fans enjoyed it, and the crowd was REALLY into it, being behind a wrestler doesn't mean anything unless they have a couple of wins that cements them in the main event.� Jericho isn't going to get there by feuding with Kane, trust me, and his rehash of the tirade against Stephanie wasn't anything more than 'kinda' funny.� Of course, I did like the line about Trish being 'Babe of the Year', and how Babe is a talking pig.� Might just be the softie in me that loved 'Babe'.� Regardless, it was funny stuff.. but Jericho is no way, shape or form even half of what he could be as a heel, working as a face.� I refuse to hear any arguments towards the contrary.� He's a good face, but he can be a great heel.� Oh well.. the segment was fine, I guess.� Trish is a bad heel, though, as proven by her work in the promo, and the one after, with Christian.� I hope she doesn't leave the women's division forever, though, as she's gotten REAL good at times. Kane vs. Tajiri Oh, this is stupid.� I wonder if people backstage think "hey, if Tajiri gets an actual victory over Kane, by count out, it'll help establish him as a superstar!"� I mean, do they really?� I fucking hope not.� I seriously thought that they gave him a chance for a while in the match, and misting him was the right thing to do.. but come on, christ, come on.� This did nothing for anybody, as Kane kicked Tajiri's ass afterwards, making him look like a bitch, and took a spear from Edge, looking like a bitch himself in the process.� Edge/Kane?� Sigh. Shelton Benjamin vs. Triple H If you haven't seen Clash of the Champions I right now, go rent it, buy it, download it.. whatever you do, watch it.� Is Flair/Sting the best match on the show?� No, it's probably the third best, but it was, in a lot of ways, similar to this match.� Going in, who gave Sting a chance?� Same with Shelton.� Hindsight bias runs rampant to those who say that they expected Shelton to win.. nobody did.� It's what we've seen so many times, HHH squashing a talented newcomer.� I'd be lying if I said I didn't really expect Shelton to lose, because I so did.� And you know what?� Be happy.� Be happy that somebody young is getting a shot.� If Hunter squashes him next week, then be pissed.� It's your right.� But it's also not set in stone that Hunter is going to beat Benjamin.� We'll see in a couple weeks how things work out. The match itself was good, not great.� About ***1/2, I'd put it at.� Shelton was REALLY on, but Hunter was a bit slow and sluggish.� Not to say that he was awful, just not at the top of his 'game'.� Get it?� Still, it wasn't bad at all, and he did a fine job of putting Shelton over.� In fact, the Stinger Splash/roll-up finish reminded me a LOT of Clash I.� I dunno.� I'm happy.� Shelton Benjamin, for the time being, is a star.� He did it by beating the top heel (deserved or not) in the WWE right now, HHH.� He did it cleanly, and although he didn't flat out eliminate Hunter with a big move, he looked damn good doing it.� I'm going to wait until I see how the storyline unfolds before I start bitching.� I'm not an optimist, I'm not saying "all of a sudden, things are going to be right in WWE land forever because of this one match".. but one of my favorite young wrestlers got put over big.� And for 6 days, until the next RAW, and we see what happens?� Nothing's going to drag me down.� Highlights: Shelton Benjamin > you are.� The tag match wasn't bad, I quite enjoyed it.� Tajiri is funny.� So is Jericho, if slightly repetitive.� Lowlights: Eh, some of the angles weren't great, and poor Tajiri and Lance.. sigh.� Nothing too bad. The Verdict: Overall, a pretty fun show that I enjoyed more than I disliked.� A lot more.� Before Shelton's victory and the match, we're looking at a 5, but after.. they did a nice job.� Good stuff." drqshadow's my name, and for the rest of my afternoon, writing's my game; drq: "Gliding off one of the biggest ratings successes in recent memory, RAW needed to take the bull by the horns this week and give what fresh viewers they'd acquired an excuse to tune in again next week. They needed to really embrace Vince McMahon's request that the draft lotto "shake things up" and launch those "new rivalries, new superstars and new directions" the CEO had promised in that fateful promo. Not only that, but they needed to get those gears turning in a hurry for the rapidly approaching Backlash PPV, which was only three shows away at the time of those opening fireworks. It was a perfect situation of the writers having their work cut out for them, not only accomplishing the big semi-relaunch that Vinnie Poo had demanded but also doing so in an extremely short period of time. Basically, they needed to deliver results without hesitation. I'm usually their harshest critic, but even I was feeling for them coming into this week. Evolution started the show off, with Ric Flair firmly planting the two youngsters under his wing and displaying the proper method of delivering a promo, interesting the crowd in an ongoing feud and living his character. Flair was absolutely on fire last night, both in this segment and in the main event. The guy's interaction with the live crowd, his body language and his facial expressions are still completely unheard of. He's such a master of his art that it's borderline scary. Orton played his role as well as could be expected, since all he really needs to do is stand around and act conceded to be successful, but I really can't get over how perfect a team he makes with Flair backing him vocally. Evolution really could've survived without Triple H, and more than likely would've thrived in his absence. I miss Flair's seamless mockery of the ringside crowd on a regular basis. Tajiri and Coach were hysterical together last night, but it's not really something I'd like to see drug out over more than a single night. As Brett noted, sometimes the slapstick stuff works given the situation, and this was the right time and place to use it. Coach's totally over-the-top reaction to getting misted was great stuff. The whole "Molly Holly losing streak" thing is getting to be overplayed. They spent nine months establishing her as a competent, experienced Women's Champion, gave her clean defenses against countless opponents before handing her a couple months of endless losses. I can understand the need to shake up the names on top of the division, but it doesn't make sense to push Molly this strongly and then abandon it without an end in sight. Her feud with Victoria appears to be over, and I'd imagine the only reason she's still on TV is because she was willing to shave her head and they feel bad about letting her do it without planning any kind of payoff for her. Nidia looked decent enough... at the very least, she's carryable... which means she should do fine in the division, provided they continue pairing her off with competent ladies. I don't remember a thing about the Triple H promo aside from the freaking World Title match he booked for himself at Backlash, which I guess is par for the course. The guy has the ability to spew words with little or no purpose like few in the history of the industry. Honestly, he and Hogan are in a league of their own, though the Hulkster's were a little more abstract while Helmsley's are more blatantly self-serving and egotistical. But I think I've harped long enough in the past about my dislike for long vocal circle-running in the place of lengthier matches and more substantial storyline development. Needless to say; less talkie, more workie = Q more happy. I think about 75% of my past works can be simplified into that statement. I didn't mind the booking of the tag title match, but the work itself seemed too rushed and breakneck stop-and-go to me. I think they worked through half their combined signature maneuvers and big spots in the first minute and a half with little or no build, spent a couple minutes exchanging rest holds and submissions, went back to a series of explosive big spots and then back to the rest holds. It was really bizarrely paced, is what I guess I'm trying to say. I'm a fan of all four guys involved with this one (yes, even Batista), but I think they're all capable of much better. I don't understand why Shawn and Chris are all buddy-buddy now, either. The Highlight Reel segment was sucking air until Jericho jumped in with all his face catachphrases and a couple new ones. It was legitimately gratifying to see Y2J say to Trish what every guy who's ever been cheated on has wanted to say to his ex, but the whole "trashbag ho" thing was getting stale when he abandoned it a couple years back, so I really hope he isn't planning on breaking that old line out for the long run. The audience participation bit was fun, no doubt about it... I wish more segments took advantage of the live audience in this fashion, because it simultaneously makes for good TV watching from home and a fun experience for the crowd itself. Trish sounds disturbingly like the Officer Gunderson in Fargo when she's trying to be a mean, deceitful bitch. On top of that, her whole act came off as really canned and poorly performed in general. She's improved in the ring since her debut, no doubt about it, but her acting chops are beyond poor. Kane and Tajiri were genuinely awful in their little pseudo-match last night, which is a real shame because both guys can be tremendous assets if they're motivated, driven by a great storyline and / or opposed by somebody who knows what they're doing. Tajiri, in particular, has been extremely versatile in the past, putting on a great show opposite heavyweights and cruiserweights alike while in his prime in ECW. Like anybody else on the roster, though, he's absolutely wasted in a match like this. There's no reason to waste ANY athlete's time with a dumbass, meaningless, treadmill match like that one. Yeah, all right... let's all go out to the ring, no-sell for twenty seconds, attempt to run into a ringpost (and miss by a good six inches) and then wrap it all up with a convoluted, gimmicked finish that doesn't get anyone anywhere on the card. Huh, when I put it that way I guess I can understand why neither of these guys were motivated last night. Finally, the match that defined the show in everyone's minds; Benjamin vs. Triple H. Shelton's been tearing up the competition in the ring lately, with a great couple weeks on Smackdown up to and including the three falls in one night he fought in the infamous "gauntlet," and he really pulled out all the stops last night. Everything they did with this guy last night was spot-on, from the nervous face-off with Batista and blindsiding from Triple H to the blunt rubs from three of the show's most popular faces to the booking, pace and outcome of the match itself. They told, in two hours, the kind of story we've been demanding for the last year. They gave that Cincinnati audience a motive to get behind the kid, the endorsement to justify their motive, the momentum to elaborate upon those endorsements and the payoff to catapult him into instant recognition. I won't even attempt to give the match itself a star rating, since that issues been debated to death over the last twenty four hours and I don't believe too much in star ratings to begin with, but I will say it was above average. It was a wonderful surprise, with Benjamin doing much more than pulling out the fluke win and delivering an excuse for JR to get all loud and excited at the end of the night. He didn't just splash Trips at the right moment and roll him up for the cheap win, he matched the eight time former champion move for move, countered everything The Game had to offer and won the match without outside interference. This was a great story, and that was enough to keep me interested throughout the match, no matter how much it seemed to lag while in Triple H's control. And, no matter how much I hate his promos, I've got to hand it to Triple H. The guy's been undeniably on since WrestleMania. That's three great main events in a row, putting over deserving young talent in each instance. And you'll note that I didn't just say he laid down for new faces... he actually went out of his way to put them over. Benoit is a much more credible champion right now because Triple H was the one to tap out at Mania. Guerrero looks every bit like a legitimate World Champ, since he went blow-for-blow with Triple H one week ago and didn't fall victim to the pedigree. And now Benjamin is the real deal in the eyes of the fans, thanks in large part to the efforts of Helmsley. Surely it takes two to tango, but HHH deserves just as much credit for that match's success as Shelton. I think the thing I liked best about this match was the number of directions they could potentially go with it from here. Shelton's character has so much potential at this point, with the momentum and dedication that put him over Triple H this week making him a great face, but his cockiness and natural heel charisma making a heel run inevitable. They never have to change this guy's character, they just have to play up one aspect of his personality moreso than the other. Then again, they've messed up far more promising situations than this one in the past... All in all, this was the very definition of mediocrity aside from Flair's performance and Benjamin's elevation. I'm really enjoying this string of solid main events, and I hope to god it continues, but the actual guts of the show could still use some work. Needs less lengthy, meaningless promos, less worthless, forgettable little thirty second matches, and more stuff like the beginning and end of the program." Big CM himself, Corey Morgan was nombre numero tres this time around; Corey: "Our first RAW following the big lottery is in the books, and my night is already ruined, as HHH has been traded back to RAW. �Well, at least the Dudleys are gone. �They were the only guys on the show that were more stale than HHH himself. �We kick things off with a good promo by the Evolution. �They badmouth Mick Foley some more, which draws out the Hardcore Legend himself. �Long story short, we get one more match in the Foley/Orton feud, as Foley punks Orton into a hardcore match for the IC title at Backlash. �Now normally, I'd be really excited about this. But frankly, Mick Foley hasn't won a match in what, three years now? There's only so much of that I can take. �Mick DESERVES to go over anyone in the WWE that they throw at him, but it never happens. � Backstage, Garrison Cade and La Resistance goad Tajiri into spraying the green mist at whoever comes through the door. �And while I can't think of a better guy than the Coach to get it (despite his hilariously bad acting job at selling the mist), Things can't be looking too well for Tajiri, as you just know that Bischoff will get even one way or another. Nidia vs. Molly Short, but sweet. �Nidia is a welcome change from the same ol' same ol'. Molly loses another one after once again losing her wig. But it was a good match for as short as it was. Hurricane almost makes it to the entrance ramp for his match, but gets knocked into next week by HHH. �I'm not kidding here. �HHH hit Hurricane so hard, he won't wake up until NEXT Monday night. Unfortunately, HHH doesn't seem content with knocking out the resident superhero. �We get another of his typical whiny post-title-loss promos where he cries about deserving another shot. �And yada yada yada, we have ANOTHER Triple Threat match at the next PPV with HHH wedged between Benoit and Shawn Michaels. �Any guesses as to who will win? And poor Shelton Benjamin. �The brother is just minding his own business, and gets mauled by HHH in the back. �Not a very auspicious beginning to his RAW run eh? �Well, just keep reading. Lance Storm is in the ring next, complaining about something or other, and Rhyno comes out to shut him up, leading to... Lance Storm vs. Rhyno Rhyno must have had somewhere to go. �A Gore and a 3 count later, and it's over. As I mentioned earler, Tajiri misting Coach wasn't a very good start to his stay on RAW, as Bischoff signs a no-DQ match between Tajiri and Kane. Shawn Michaels & Chris Benoit vs. Batista & Ric Flair Geez, how many different ways are they going to find to put HBK and Benoit together huh? �And let me say, that I'm tired of seeing Flair and Batista. � Decent match, with a good swerve finish, as it looked for a minute like we had new tag champs, but guest ref Johnny Spade made sure in the end, it was Batista and Flair whose hands were raised. Unfortunately for Spade, it was HBK and Benoit who had the last laugh. Next up, was Chris Jericho getting off a few good one liners at Trish's expense. �Pretty funny. Tajiri vs. Kane Uh, how do you win a no-DQ match by countout? � Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin Damn! �This was a really good match! �I'm a big fan of some actual wrestling in my wrestling matches, and Shelton Benjamin brought the goods. �HHH did a very good job as the arrogant heel here, and made the young Benjamin look like a million bucks. � Unfortunately, one match does not a fantastic RAW make. �I'm glad to see that they're prepared to put some effort into pushing Shelton Benjamin here, but I think the rest of the show suffered." Finally, Ms. Lauren C. made it a participation factor of four this week; Lauren: "I don�t really have the time nor the energy this week to be as �long-winded� (oh, how I LOVE being called that) as I was last week. So, instead of going blow-by-blow through the entire show, I�m going to look at the episode�s two main objectives, as well as its general entertainment value. Those objectives, as I saw it, were setting up Backlash, and capitalizing on the �freshness� created by last week�s draft lottery. At Backlash, there will be Backlash My feelings on Backlash after watching Raw were mixed. Right now we have four matches set up for the pay-per-view: -Mick Foley vs. Randy Orton. This has been brewing for a while. The stipulations of the match (street fight, Evolution barred from ringside), as well as the fact that Foley is known as a guy who will do anything in a brutal match situation, stack the cards against Orton enough that the outcome of the match isn�t so painfully obvious as it would be if it were just �up and coming new superstar against supposedly retired legend.� -Edge vs. Kane. I don�t know where they came up with this one. It sounds like a style mismatch to me. The motive of �Bischoff getting revenge on Edge by booking him in a match against the unstoppable monster� doesn�t work too well considering that Kane hasn�t looked like an unstoppable monster in months. This one is going to be just�there. -Jericho vs. Christian. I certainly don�t mind seeing this rematch. After Christian�s comment to Trish about Backlash being the �worst night of Jericho�s life,� I�m wondering if there will be some kind of stipulation added. -Chris Benoit vs. HBK vs. Triple H. Yup, Triple H got himself added to the main event. I generally don�t like the way three-way matches work out. Yes, I was proven wrong at Wrestlemania, but I don�t think it�s something that will be repeated. The Wrestlemania match worked because of the emotions involved and the crowd getting hugely behind Benoit winning the title on the biggest stage of all. The match itself suffered from a lot of the predictable pitfalls of three-ways�namely, one guy getting knocked out of the ring for extended periods of time so the other two can fight. It�s contrived, it can get boring, and I don�t see it working for a second time. The only consolation to Triple H being added is that, in the event he does win the title, he probably won�t make it out of Edmonton alive. I would MUCH rather have seen Benoit and HBK one-on-one. The more things change� -With the exception of the main event, everything involving Triple H (and, oh, was there a LOT involving Triple H) felt like more of the same old shit. The opening recap was about the drama of Triple H being drafted to Smackdown and traded back to Raw. He cut a long promo in the ring during which he effectively buried the entire Raw roster by pointing out that �Bischoff would have traded any one of you� to get him back. He got himself added to the main event at Backlash. Despite the potential excitement of the roster shakeup, this was definitely one of those episodes that felt like the �Triple H show.� -Tajiri is very good at being comic relief. He�s too good, in fact. The days of the evil and vicious �Japanese buzzsaw� seem to be behind Tajiri as he steps into the role of �stereotypical Asian buffoon.� He�s going to be very popular, as his facial expressions are great and middle America loves to laugh at ethic stereotypes, but as a fan of cruiserweight wrestling I�m always going to think he�s being wasted. -Nidia looked like she�s competent enough in the ring. With some more practice, and working with pros like Molly and Victoria, she�ll only get better. The women�s division could use another competitor. -Oh Lance Storm, how I wish you had been traded to Smackdown too. You could be so good. So, so good. *sigh* I don�t see exactly what the Rhyno squash accomplished for either wrestler, but Lance�s promo before the match made it seem like he�s getting a new direction, so I�m going to wait to see where it goes before I condemn. -Finally, Shelton Benjamin, the overnight success story of this week�s Raw. My only complaint about Shelton was that his acting seemed a little forced during that backstage segment with Bischoff. Otherwise, he was a star. The main event kicked ass. The pacing was slow, but it told a great story (isn�t this the �new WWE style� they�re going for now?). It was incredible to hear the crowd chanting �Shelton, Shelton� when just a couple of months ago, this guy was working tag team matches on Velocity. He came in with nothing and got over on the strength of the match�s storytelling. Triple H sold for him (I kept flashing back to Triple H vs. Taka Michinoku from Smackdown in 2000). Flair and Benoit coming out to ringside was a great touch in making the match seem important. Interference was kept to a minimum. The rollup ending wasn�t �weak� like some people are complaining�it made perfect sense in the context of the match because the young, hungry competitor got the better of the overconfident superstar. It wasn�t a **** match (I�d put it at ***1/4), but it told a great story and built up a new star with a ton of potential. I can�t wait to see what Shelton gets next week. I�m realistic�I�m sure at some point he�s going to do a return job to Triple H, but hopefully WWE will be smart enough that it won�t kill off his momentum. General entertainment I realized one of the reasons I liked last week�s episode so much was because most of the show had an �unpredictable� feel. This week had a lot of predictability. The Jericho/Trish segment was entirely predictable, and almost painful to watch due to Trish�s horrible acting and Jericho�s recycling of old catchphrases. Coach screaming like a girl after getting the green mist from Tajiri was absolutely hysterical, but as soon as Tajiri walked into Bischoff�s office, I knew that he was going to end up in a match with Kane (and of course, as soon as that match was made, I knew Edge would show up). The other big match of the show besides the main event�the tag title match�was marred by a few things, not the least of which being that the match didn�t make sense in the first place (Benoit and HBK getting a tag title shot? HUH?). Was there some sort of implied jab in the fact that a referee named Johnny (Monday) Nitro did a Dusty finish? I hope he keeps changing his name every week, because so far the names have all sucked. To recap my, uh, recap, after Monday night�s Raw, I�m excited for half the announced Backlash matches and underwhelmed by all of the drafted talent except for Shelton Benjamin, who rocks my socks (but hey, I�ve known that since I first got my custom-made Team Angle shirts). I�d call this a thoroughly average show, boosted up a point by a really good main event that elevated an up-and-coming talent." The boys and girls were singin' and dancin' in the forums last night, and they weren't separating neatly into little clusters on either side of the gym like so many bashful middle schoolers. No sir, those cats were at each other's throats and in each other's ears, as the whole gathering made its way through last night's airing of WWE's Monday Night RAW. As tradition would have it, I've taken the initiative this week, read every single word of the thread's outrageous, eight hundred twenty seven post lifespan, clipped out the good parts and pasted them all together here in what's become known as the ongoing "...but what did the Forums think??" portion of our song and dance. If you think you've got what it takes to make the cut and want to help out with next week's episode of RAW, just head to the forums. We've always got a thread up and running, immediately prior to, during and up to a day after RAW's 9PM east-coast broadcast. The next day I'll click my lonesome way through the thread, read every last post and print the best of the best right here in the trendilicious pages of the RRC. I'll then average the combined scores of each forum visitor and include that average as a standalone grade in the RRC, right alongside the scores of Brett, Corey, Lauren, Adam, Samir and myself. It's the kind of love you only get from a mother / father figure. It's inclusion in a big spotlight thanks to a friend in a high high place that thinks the world of you. It's puppy love. Awwww. So, with that, let's see what all eighty two votes amounted to in terms of quotables, observations and dedications. Behold! --On Evolution-- lesrisen: wow... evolution starting things off? who would have guessed? Ouroborus: You know, people get fired for not showing up on time.... fuzzybunny566: damn, if ric flair was the host of a late-night informercial, i would buy anything that he told me to. Stryfe: Do you guys realize we're having a Foley/Flair interview.... and it's about Randy Orton? --On Tajiri's Hazing-- Canadian Hitman: Coach getting the mist = ratings!! Tom Cataldi: NOW KICK HIM IN THE HEAD. Rifkin: Tajiri would have been great in any of the Police Academy movies. Preferably 3. DjPFonz: RIAR RAIR pants on FIRE --On the Women's Match-- Ouroborus: It's sad when Nidia's hair looks faker than Molly's. lesrisen: hey... Nidia is actully selling the arm... she is already better than lita --On Triple H's Promo-- Ouroborus: How many times has that happened to Hurricane? Seems to me that this is atleast twice. lesrisen: the entire roster to get HHH back? but who would job fuzzybunny566: 3 out of the last 4 PPV raw world title matches have been triple threats...armageddon, wrestlemania xx, and now backlash... Canadian Hitman: Bwhahahaha they're giving away free boxes of WWE Power Pasta at Backlash...just imagine thousands of boxes of imitation Kraft Dinner being thrown at Triple H!!! I'll pay to see that!! --On the Tag Title Match-- Canadian Hitman: Johnny Spade!!! or Johnny Blaze???Nitro? The guy is trying to become the next 3 Faces of Foley! smashmouth: Give him one month and he'll become Johnny Velocity. bryanclark: Heh, now he's standing there with his hands in his pockets. BEST. REFEREE. EVER. fuzzybunny566: when flair finally has his REAL retirement match, i pray that he gets to land a move, ANY move, from the turnbuckle Wintermute426: Wow, guess they're making up the lack of beltage to Chris. James IV: If Flair isn't the legal man, HOW THE FUCK can he try to roll up Michaels immediately after?? WTF???? --On Benjamin vs. Helmsley-- smashmouth: Yep, a full show with HHH beating everybody. This show is starting to remind me when the NWO were beating everybody in WCW. Rifkin: I hope these two guys watched tapes of Sting-Flair I 73 times before this match. Spinner: Shelton could be the cockiest face of all time. Cash Melville: Shelton is playing his role perfectly!!! He's dominating though, something fishy is going on. I'm loving it nonetheless! James IV: This crowd is so fucking awesome. They are marking out over simple armbars!!! Shelton is ruling on 89 levels of awesomeness right now. TheEvilIraqi: Shelton is stupid over. I'm glad a guy got in the ring and used that to get over instead of ass pretaped vignettes Canadian Hitman: Is there any more appropriate hold for Triple H than the sleeper? Rifkin: This match blows away Eddy/HHH from last week. I can't wait to see people claim Shelton carried it. If you don't give Hunter props for this match you are retarded. pongsentry: First time I've marked out for RAW since Jericho almost won the title. bryanclark: So what it had a roll-up? Steamboat/Flair had a rollup win, was that match "not that good" because of it, too? TheEvilIraqi: HHH decides to work again and suddenly he gets **** for DOING HIS GODDAMNED JOB? The match wasn't really that great (which is to say, greater than most matches of similar length and just as good as Angle/Eddy from WMXX). So ***, if that. Shelton looked great and HHH came back to work. I don't recall anybody dropping four stars on Rock/Hurricane. John C.: Where's Bower at? We gotta mark out for our boy! The True Mark: I watch Raw every Monday night with 7-10 frat brothers. I hold sway at my chapter, so even though only 2-3 of us are really into it, they all watch it. I've only seen the whole room really into 2 matches in the past 6 months we've watched it together.One was WM XX main event triple threat. The other was the main event tonight. That one match made Shelton a star. Star! When i see a person who swears he "hates wrestling" jump on a table cheering after Shelton won, that translates to "great match" for me. Justin T: I'm a fucking moron for having put down Shelton Benjamin so much. I didn't think he had that in him. Granted Hunter has been on a fucking roll lately but still- that was great --In General-- TheEvilIraqi: Benoit is the first guy in months besides Heyman who actually put Smackdown over. Even Tazz and Cole don't do it. They just sort of sheepishly acknowledge how bush league it is whenever JR and King shout them down. The Unlit Sun: No Austin? No Stacy? No humour? No point? No points. This show is the reason I stopped watching wrestling. The draft was enough to hold my interest for one week (this week) and thats about it. Same old shit, just old faces in new places. Just a short n' curly's width below last week's score of 7.5277777... and off into infinity. Last week, I claimed that the real tell-tale sign about the draft's success would come with this week's show, as we saw how the new talent was handled, how the new heirarchy laid out and how the build to Backlash continued. Now that the week in question has come and gone, and the kids in the forums have cast judgment, I guess it's safe to say RAW has emerged no worse for wear. The forums, generally a very fickle audience, have been virtually unanimous in their support of the last couple weeks' worth of programming. With only four combined voters rating the show to be below average (that's just five percent of the popular vote) and an undeniable majority calling the program a seven or an eight (just under sixty percent), there's no question what our little bottled community thought about this week. Hell, eight visitors even went out of their way to call the show a perfect ten. Hot DAYUM! And, well, you know what purpose this last paragraph is here to serve. On behalf of Brett, Corey, Adam, Lauren and Samir, I'm drqshadow saying "we appreciate your time, your attention, your imagination and your inspiration, but the time has come to put on your coats, stretch your legs and get the hell out." Well... perhaps the same sentiment in a more eloquent wording. But wait! Don't go just yet! That gurned show-stealer himself, Mr. CALC.EXE is here to perform his weekly magic trick. Stand at attention, my friends, as the digital daredevil dares to take everybody's grade this week, add it all together and average it. Not once, but twice! With a different set of circumstances! The man is amazing. Give him credit, and wave at the llama on your way out the door.  |
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